Do you feel like you have positive self-esteem as an adult? For many of my Brisbane Positive Parenting clients self esteem is something they definitely want to help build in their children and this is just one of the benefits of the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program. Positive self esteem will help build their resilience throughout their childhood years and is so beneficial for them right through their adult lives too.
Enhancing the development of your child’s self-esteem and resilience is just one of the learning objectives of the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program. You can find all the info you need on this online course here.
- Choose your battles wisely. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is self esteem. Decide on one skill area to build, like being more independent and focus on that until you see success. For example, for toddlers, show them how to open their drink bottle rather than doing it for them. Then, tackle another independence skill – this will really help to build up their self-esteem.
- Align the adults. Ensure all adults are on the same page. Hash out any disagreements and come up with positive parenting rules and responses that all primary caregivers agree to and uses consistently.
- Create opportunities for success. Catch them being good. Set small goals that your child can easily attain. Focus on one small step until it is achieved consistently, and then add something else. Start when they are young, and it will be easier for them when they get older.
- Allow mistakes and failure without judgment. Let them fail and make mistakes until they get it right – without too much pressure and with your loving guidance.
What else can you do to build positive self-esteem in your children outside of the Circle of Security® Parenting™ program?
- Teach what you want them to learn. Be clear about your expectations. Show your child how to do things. Model for them by doing it in your life. Verbal instructions are often insufficient and set kids up for failure or low self-esteem. Don’t overwhelm them with too many things to do at once – one or two at the most for verbal instruction.
- Reinforce what you want more of. Praise them when they do what you want – especially when they do it well or go above and beyond. Be specific about what they did that you like and tell them you appreciate it.
- Raise the bar. Teaching responsibility requires accountability. Building confidence and positive self esteem requires that children successfully achieve their responsibilities. Praise their progress and encourage them to finish successfully.
- Do the hard stuff. Follow through with what you say you will do – good, bad or indifferent. Learning from mistakes is great to building your child’s self-esteem.
At times all parents feel lost or without a clue about what their child might need from them. Imagine how good it would feel if you were able to make sense of what your child is really asking from you so you can give them what they need. This is what Circle of Security® Parenting™ can give you and your child. The Circle of Security® Parenting™ program is based on decades of research about how secure parent-child relationships can be supported and strengthened.
Find out more about the course here and when the next available dates are.